I Started Out With Nothing And I've Still Got Most Of It Left...
Y’know, God knows I find the amounts of money swilling round the Premiership offensive and the amounts of money swilling around my club in particular. I find the over-inflated wage packets of even the most mediocre players distasteful, the ostentatious displays of wealth unpalatable and the media’s obsession with the top echelons of the footballing world irritating.
And it’s all Manchester City’s fault. Apparently.
Our vast wealth is distorting the market it seems, so much so that the traditional big hitters are not happy. The not-so-big-hitters are not happy and the (mainly southern) media are positively livid.
Take this vitriolic bile from the Daily Telegraph:-
“Send in the clowns - it's another episode in the sad saga of Manchester City
Long-suffering fans of Manchester City (are there any other kind?) like to bolster their spirits by croaking Blue Moon – or those two lines of the song they can remember.
By Michael Henderson
Under fire: Manchester City executive chairman Garry Cook (right) has come in for some criticism over his handling of the potential Kaka transfer to Eastlands.
But it is another Rodgers and Hart classic that defines the club's character: Glad to be Unhappy.
"Look at yourself", goes Lorenz Hart's introductory verse. "If you had a sense of humour, you would laugh to beat the band". They might not be chortling in Miles Platting right now but everywhere else people are roaring. At a time of global uncertainty you can always rely on 'Cit-eh' to don red noses in the noble cause of cheering us all up, and they have not disappointed.
Being a laughing-stock in England was never enough for a club of such overwhelming ambition. Now, after a week of buffoonery unparalleled in the history of football, they have finally achieved the international recognition they craved for so long. Manchester's little-regarded other team is now a laughing-stock throughout the world!
Take a bow, Garry Cook, but please, keep that blessed cap and those precious bells, for they suit you so well. Goodness gracious, has there ever been so preposterous a figure in English football? Michael Knighton, possibly, but the portly ball-juggler never actually got his mitts on the Reds. Cook, by contrast, has anointed himself as a modern-day Diaghilev, chief impresario at the Theatre of Base Comedy, as Stuart Hall once dubbed it, and nobody can say he has let the audience down.
Comedians to the world! Even the great Morecambe and Wise couldn't pull off that trick. Yet, by reducing Mark Hughes, a manager of some promise, to the rank of errand boy, endorsing a transfer policy that values Craig Bellamy at a cool 14 million smackers, and now, after the humiliation of Milan, hurling insults at one of the world's grandest clubs, the former sportswear salesman has won the gratitude of millions.
One can just about forgive him for talking of 'the City project', and even something called 'the broader community'. These salespeople imbibe such claptrap with their mother's milk and besides, not all the fans seem to care one way or t'other. The City supporters were not greatly bothered by Thaksin Shinawatra's millions and now that billions are sloshing their way from the oilfields of Abu Dhabi, they think that's quite a wheeze, too.
But when the mouthpiece of a club synonymous with high-spending failure accuses Milan of lacking 'sophistication', it is surely time to start counting the spoons. To demean the club you represent so shamelessly in public does not merely insult Milan; it insults the game itself. Even a candy-coated charmer like Cook must know he will never again be taken seriously by anybody in the game.
The mood may be changing because it is clear that a growing number of City fans are deeply ashamed of their club's conduct.
It is also clear that the Land of Plenty that Cook claims to see is so far away that you need a visa to get there, and not many leading players are prepared to have their passports stamped.
Kaka did the football world a huge favour when he knocked back Cook and his associates. It is now time for Mark Hughes to do the game another good turn. If he stays at Eastlands Hughes will be forced to walk the plank sooner rather than later, so he may as well leave now, on his own terms.
Hughes is an intelligent man who should, in time, become a successful manager, but he will never be allowed to manage independently at a club like Manchester City. Were he to walk out now nobody would hold a thing against him. It is the best course, and he shouldn't think twice about it.
Cook, meanwhile, can get on writing his memoirs, which are provisionally titled Golfing with Thaksin. He can also get on with the delightful business of recruiting some more 'humanitarians' for the 'project'. That, apparently, was the thing about Kaka, not his ball skills.
On Wednesday night it was reported that City were preparing to make an eight-figure offer for Archbishop Desmond Tutu. 'The dynamics', said a club spokesman, 'feel right'.”
Now by any standards I would call vitriolic, indeed I could probably go further and call it downright nasty, so nasty in fact that it elicited this response from a Manchester United fan:-
“I must admit, as a Manchester United Supporter I find this article absolutely disgusting.
Fair enough if you dont agree with the way City are going about their business, but this was some of the most shocking journalism I have ever seen. First of all instead of providing your opinion backed up with facts to prove what you have said, you have just talked complete drivel, and secondly you have completely insulted every person associated with the club. I as a Manchester United fan obviously don’t see eye to eye with the fans, but at least our banter has a purpose (as local rivals) and isn’t just an attack on a random football club.
With us deep in a recession i think your job should go to a journalist who can actually provide an argument worthy of discussion as quite frankly i am suprised you are not just making the tea in that office.
As for “hurling insults at one of the world's grandest clubs”, weren’t Milan docked 15 points for their part in Serie A’s match fixing scandal a few season’s back? Still this guy is a journalist ‘in-the-know’. Here’s what he had to say before the Manchester Derby when the Munich Disaster was remembered:-
"Manchester City have sent out letters to those fans who will attend the game, asking them to behave, but that's rather like asking the wind not to blow. It is likely the silence will be broken. If so it would be nice to think that the offenders will be exposed and punished appropriately "
No word of an apology after the impeccably observed silence. Mind you, a little further research has revealed that he was born in Manchester and now lives in London. I suspect his leanings are toward a certain football club from Trafford Park.
Sadly though, the article is representative of the media’s approach to Manchester City’s new found wealth in general: bitterness and outrage. It would be a different kettle of fish if it was Manchester United, Chelsea, Liverpool or Arsenal. The cosy ‘top four’ that the press feel comfortable with, the Status Quo the ‘which one of top four will win the Title, Cup, Champion’s League this season?” Moreover, I think the bitterness and outrage would be the same if it was Hull City, Everton, Sunderland, West Brom or Aston Villa. Not fashionable you see. Not glamorous enough. Provincial.
The offer for Kaka was obscene according to the media – how many hospitals and schools could be built with that sort of money? (Not many actually but even so, isn’t it the Government’s job to build schools and hospitals? Not Arabic billionaires certainly. And furthermore how many schools and hospitals could we build with the money being wasted in Iraq and shoring up banks?)
Now I happen to agree that the offer was obscene (and incidentally too much too soon), but I don’t remember the same charges being hurled at Real Madrid when they came in with a destabilizing offer of £80m for Ronaldo in the summer and I certainly don’t remember bile-filled journalistic rants about the obscenity of Rio Ferdinand costing £30m six years ago when United made him the World’s most expensive defender. And what of Chelsea’s elevation in the wake of the Abromovitch buyout? Did that result in an outpouring of bile on a level with what City are experiencing? No it didn’t.
But, onwards and upwards, with a bit of luck this may inculcate a siege mentality in our over paid precious ones. A bit like Sir Alex manages to create.
Went to see Richard Thompson on his 1000 years of popular music tour last week. Excellent and thoroughly recommended. A two hour journey from the 12th century to Nellie Furtado via Henry Purcell, Richard the Lionheart, Renaissance Italy, Old English Folk, The Ink Spots, Abba, The Kinks, Gilbert and Sullivan, The Corgis and the Easybeats. I forget just what a superb guitarist Mr Thompson is and the way played all these different styles on one or two acoustics (and on one number a hurdy gurdy) was pretty damn impressive.
Went to see Seasick Steve last night with Dearest, Eldest and Mrs Eldest and Youngest and Mrs Youngest. Once again thoroughly brilliant night. Just Seasick and a drummer and a percussionist. Just perfect.
Tomorrow will be a walk round Manchester camera in hand before pitching up at a beer festival near Victoria Station before meal and then more beer (probably).
It’s a hard life but someone’s got to do it.
So that great listing galleon of a man has finally accepted the inevitable, had one last tipple, written one last heart-wrenchingly beautiful masterpiece, tucked into one last 'full Irish' and died an old man's death. Pneumonia I believe. Well I can relate to that. It has been killing folk who would've normally died many years older for more years than I care to remember.
