OCCUPIED COUNTRY

It's Been a Long, Long Time....Hasn't it?

Ah well. Here I am again. Weeks of silence. Weeks.

Weeks spent hospital-visiting and such but not all of my time has been taken up with depressing fayre. I had a cruise round the Med for a week with Dearest, Eldest, Youngest and Youngest's Darlin'. (Soon to become Mrs Youngest - in Austria no less. August 17th). The cruise was courtesy of Dearest's redundancy payment. She treated the kids and myself. We booked early enough to qualify for free all-inclusive which meant that the entire week we gorged on fabulous food and too much drink. Sadly I was boat-bound for three days with a recurrence of my achilles problem but I only missed a few places.

So back home to the usual round of hospital visits, work, drink, dog-walking and sleep with precious little time for anything else, although playing the blues deep into the night is a must. I can't even get annoyed about this most Tory of Labour Governments. Suffice to say if it wasn't for the inefectual opposition, the longest period of Labour power would be over. I wouldn't shed a tear. At least you know what a Tory Government would do. Furthermore, any cabinet with a practising (cilice-wearing?) Opus Dei member doesn't deserve support from the likes of me.

Speaking of Opus Dei, there I was this morning listening to 5Live when Nicky Campbell interviewed the head of Opus Dei (UK). Eventually they got onto the subject of wearing a cilice and the whole area of corporeal mortification.

As I downed my cuppa I fully expected to hear that the wearing of such a medievil, barbaric device as a cilice was a thing of the past. Imagine my surprise when he told us that to wear a celice was a little like working out and that celice-wearing is quite common.

"No wonder Ruth Kelly's got a face like a slapped arse" I thought...........

How long before it becomes the latest celebrity, detox, weight-loss aid, though:

Posh Spice has told the 3am girls that she will be taking her new diamond encrusted cilice to the World Cup. "Those German sausages are so fattening, and if I am in mortal agony, I don't eat", she reports.

We will be buying our own high street versions of Posh's cilice this weekend. Get your's while you can.

Incidentally, this powerful man believes that The Life of Brian was a bigger threat to the Church than the Da Vinci Code.