OCCUPIED COUNTRY

Get Your Kicks........

I've just discovered that First Group, of crap bus and train journey fame, own the famous Greyhound Bus group and they have since 2007. Is nothing sacred? First Group symbolises (along with Stagecoach) everything that is lacking in the provision of public transport in this country. Everything from filling profitable routes with too many buses to taking a hefty public subsidy to run the less profitable ones - although most of the time the unprofitable ones are cut and the areas they once serviced are left isolated. Unless you have a car of course.

First Group and other like-minded transport providers are also adept at targeting newcomers with highly aggressive price cuts in order to kill off all competition before hiking the prices back up again. In fact just this week the Office of Fair trading has published findings slamming the industry for this – and many other – sharp practices.

Still I suppose it's just the natural progress of the 'free' market that such an unloved corporation can acquire a brand with so much romance attached to it. A romance that I fear will soon be tarnished as they attempt to set up Greyhound routes over here. They're starting this autumn with trips from London to Southampton and Portsmouth and then they hope to roll out more destinations later.

Greyhound buses put me in mind of Dustin Hoffman breathing his last cradled in Jon Voight's arms at the end of Midnight Cowboy, of Paul Simon singing "Kathy I said as we boarded a Greyhound in Pittsburgh, Michigan seems like a dream to me now.....", of huge distances and life altering journies. Of the romance of the open road and big skies. Somehow Shepherd's Bush doesn't have that cache does it? "Doris I said as I boarded a Greyhound in Clapham............" doesn't really do it either.

Travel, within Britain, is prosaic. There's no romance whatsoever. You can't do proper road trips. At a pinch you could probably do O'Groats to Land's End in a day presuming an average speed of 60mph. That's not a real adventure is it? Not getting your kicks on Route 66?

Bus travel in Britain is National Express, overpriced motorway services, draughty bus stations and other people. Not romantic people, just, well, other people just like you. Having said that, it can produce a great pop song: The Divine Comedy's "National Express."

Take the National Express when your life's in a mess
It'll make you smile
All human life is here
From the feeble old dear to the screaming child
From the student who knows that to have one of those
Would be suicide
To the family man
Manhandling the pram with paternal pride
And everybody sings ba ba ba da...
Were going where the air is free

On the national express theres a jolly hostess
Selling crisps and tea
She'll provide you with drinks and theatrical winks
For a sky-high fee
Mini-skirts were in style when she danced down the aisle
Back in 63 (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
But its hard to get by when your arse is the size
Of a small country
And everybody sings ba ba ba da...
Were going where the air is free
Tomorrow belongs to me
When youre sad and feeling blue
With nothing better to do
Dont just sit there feeling stressed
Take a trip on the national express

Neil Hannon take a bow.

I’ve finally galvanized myself enough to migrate my ISP from BT to O2. As an existing O2 customer I got a great deal with unlimited usage and speeds of over 8Meg. With BT it was trundling along at around 2. All this for £7.84 per month! A bargain if you ask me.

The faster speed has improved my experience of watching and listening to streamed content to an extent that I would never have believed a few years ago. On Wednesday night I had a wired desktop and a wireless laptop streaming City’s live game against Barcelona and the quality was TV like it was that good. No periodic jerking, no buffering just smooth, sharp images and sound.

It was a cracking game as well with Barca having most of the possession and hammering our defence which, to its credit, held firm for a 1-0 victory. This is the third or fourth friendly that the club has streamed live on its website and it is turning out to be a fantastic success. The club’s website revealed that the stream was watched by 94,000 in the UK. That’s an impressive statistic in anybody’s book and could pave the way for City dedicated TV station in the near future like United, Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool.

The same night we were beating Barcelona at the Nou Camp, United were being beaten by Burnley at Turf Moor.

We are living in strange times.

Still, some things never change. As I write England have just lost Anderton for a duck and now stand on 308-9 at 11:05am on the second day of the crucial last test. All the Aussies need is a draw. Is there going to be enough in the pitch to get 20 wickets over the next 4 days? Or was England’s first innings just a typical England Innings? Too much hype followed by too little class. We’ll see.

**UPDATE** Well, my word, it appears there just may be enough in the wicket. England made 332 and then bowl out the Aussies for 160 with Stuart Broad on an impressive 5 for 37. As write today (Saturday) England are on 174 for 5. We can win this.

I've just listened to Aggers interviewing pop princess Lily Allen on Test Match Special. I think you can safely say he's greatly enamoured of the diminutive songstress. She was flirting like mad with him and I got the impression he loved every minute of it. Later, on the BBC's test text updates we got this:-

Jonathan Agnew reflects on his interview with Lily Allen on Twitter: "Well, what can I say...lovely girl and already heading off to Chelmsford. Great effort"

Still on a cricket theme I've been listening to the Duckworth Lewis Method's fabulous homage to the true beautiful game. Get yourselves along to Spotify and give it a listen. It exudes a summery Englishness that belies the Irishness of it's authors. Sublime.

Neil Hannon take a bow.

**UPDATE UPDATE**

WE Won!!!

Wahey!!