West End Girls
Last night saw the blue three quarters of the Occupied dynasty attending the annual City supporter's Xmas shenanigans. The guests included ex-captain and manager Tony Book along with Colin "The King" Bell. Ale was quaffed, stories told and jokes cracked. After an hour and a half of q and a, we adjourned for a buffet. Not being particularly hungry and needing to escape the crowded main room, we nipped into the tap room to replenish our glasses.There was a darts match on. It was like an audition for some Mike Leigh production. Gobby women from Miles Platting - still under the impression that leggings are the ideal camouflage for wobbling thighs - screaming "'S'GAME ON IN 'ERE" every time you attempted to order. Playing darts you see requires copious amounts of zen-like concentration which can only be achieved via complete silence. Well it does when it's played by the professionals. When it's played by amateurs in the pub on a Monday night the concentration levels aren't quite up there. The women simply walked up to the oche and threw without any consideration whatsoever. Each time they did though "GAME ON" reverberated round the room.
After the match they settled down with their Bacardi Breezers and industrial quantities of fags as they cackled and guffawed at each other's every utterance. At 10:30 they all ordered taxis and shot off back to their local for "last orders". I've no doubt I'm being unfair in my assessment and I know that appearances can be deceptive but, well.....how can I put this ? Slappers. That's the word I've been looking for. Manchester's finest. Loud, brash, threatening. Lovely.
Three day's holiday coming up now. No doubt they will be full of Christmas shopping in inner cities bursting with teeming masses all hell-bent on earnest purchasing. Occupied Towers will be tinselled to death with tat scattered about the place like forgotten toys. Tempers will be frayed and torn and general knackeredness will abound. Eeeeeh Christmas eh ? Don't you just love it ?
So, the first toll-gates since Dick Turpin lurked on the highways of the kingdom have opened in the Midlands. I feel a bit ambivalent about this really as I am a selfish bugger when it comes to the public/private transport debate. I know that we should be discouraging rampant car use but, how many of you would prefer to travel in the comfort of your own space - with your own music playing - rather than being crammed into a bus or tube, surrounded by surly, stinking, sweaty humanity ?
I suppose the question is "will toll roads reduce congestion ?" Errr no I don't think so. I will predict that within a few years time, the road will be just as snarled up as the M6 is now. Unless, of course, they crank the price up to discourage too many users. Then again that would surely defeat the object. We'll see.
Mind you, even if it was gridlocked, I'd still be sat in my car in the middle of it all because, like I said, I'm a selfish git who won't pay through the nose to sit on a train, putting up with drunks, nutters and delightful females like the Miles Platting Molls above.
We've bought my Mam and Dad a set top box for Xmas - finally dragging them into the 21st century. I was prevaricating between Freeview or a DAB radio. The radio would have allowed them to tune into SAGA radio - which, I figured was more like Radio 2 used to be before "the most successful makeover of a Radio station ever". R2 you see was my parents' musical home. Sinatra, Ellington, Matt Monroe, Nat King Cole etc. Big bands and jazz used to ooze from that station at all hours of the day. Now it's banished to some late night slot and the rest of the schedule bashes out everything from the mindless
So, in the end it was a digibox. A Goodmans model for £70 from Argos. Last night I was sat there trawling through the channels and I thought "how many of these will they actually watch ?"
Well obviously the usual suspects BBC1 and 2, ITV, C4 and Five. Maybe BBC3 and 4 as well as ITV2. After that we start to struggle. UK History will probably get a look in, a couple of the news channels and a few of tha radio stations. I can't see either of them getting into Bid-Up TV and the rest of the shopping and holiday channels.
Still, at least they'll now be equipped to survive the great analogue switch off later in the decade.
Dearest's Birthday tomorrow. She doesn't know it yet but I've booked a three night break in Nice next spring. Raise a glass to Dearest, Easyjet and t'internet.
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