OCCUPIED COUNTRY

It's a Mystery..

Something that has always intrigued has reared its ugly head again. I was reading John O'Farrell's 'An Utterly Impartial History of Britain' and he recounts the Boudicca uprising against the Romans when she and her followers attacked that there London laying waste to a lot of it. O'Farrell's footnote on the incident reads: “Thirteen feet beneath the pavements of the capital there is still a layer of the burnt remains left by Boudicca; part of it it exposed at the Barbican.”

Thirteen feet beneath? That's the key part of this that intrigues me. Whenever an archaeological activity takes place it always results in digging. Everything from the past appears to be underground. Artifacts, buildings, roads...whatever, always underground.

So here's my question: Is the World getting fatter? Is it somehow expanding year on year as a result of the extra layers of, well, dirt pile up? Anyone got any inside knowledge on this?

---

A mate had a spare ticket to see Oldham Athletic v Leeds last Monday evening so I dashed home from work, devoured some absolutely divine sausage and mash (food of the Gods) and hightailed it up to Boundary Park. Oldham were playing in neon pink for the evening to support a local campaign to acquire a state-of-the-art breast scanner for the local hospital. It was a dour game that bucked up slightly in a two minute spell in the second half during which both goals were scored in a one all draw.

When Leeds equalised previously incognito Leeds fans revealed themselves via their inability to sit tight. It started to get quite ugly as some of the more 'Leeds-and-proud-of-it' hard boys started offering any Oldham fans out regardless of the odds. All this was happening about five yards from me and I was suddenly transported back to the 60s, 70s and 80s when attending a match carried the strong possibility of a trip to casualty. It didn't last long as the stewards and the Police soon stepped in and escorted the idiots out of the ground. As they went they were cheerfully flicking V signs at the Oldham supporters and shouting obscenities to all and sundry. Typical football-supporter thugs.

Except that they weren't typical football-supporter thugs. They weren't teenagers, they were grown men and by that I mean men in their forties. Men who probably had kids of their own, wives, mortgages, jobs. Why would men that age act in that way? Actively encouraging violence as though it would be the highlight of their evening?

As long as my arse points South I'll never understand that mentality. I guess I'm a lover not a fighter.

---

Dearest and I are off to Barcelona come Wednesday. Five days in one of my favourite cities with the added bonus of VIP status at the hotel. Add to that the fact we've booked the VIP suite at the airport on departure and should be luxury all the way. I'll be taking all my technology and I've decided to see just what can be done with it when travelling. The camera, the mobile PC that is my phone and my newly acquired Netbook will all be packed in my rucksack along with my iPod. There's free WiFi throughout the hotel so the Netbook should come in really handy. Traditional media will be represented by a few books: the aforementioned History of Britain along with Stuart Maconie's search for Middle England 'Adventures on the High Teas' and the Rough Guide to Barcelona.

Can't wait.

---

Y'know it was a year ago today that I handed in my bag and uniform and escaped from the hell that was the Royal Mail. A year! Where's that year gone? Faster than the speed of light that went. It only seems a few months ago. I still wake sometimes and think I'm still there. Now I don't know about you but I think that that signifies some deep psychological trauma. I still get flashbacks when I see those little red elastic bands lying around the streets, when I find myself behind one of their red vans or when I see one of the poor buggers trudging through the windswept streets with a ten ton bag on their shoulders.

It seriously has fundamentally altered my attitude to work and I promise myself I will NEVER find myself in such a ghastly situation again. Consumed 24/7. Incapable of going through my life without the thoughts of having to go and do that job constantly in my mind. Snapping at my nearest and dearest, depressed and downright bloody miserable. How the hell did I get through it?

Beats me. But I did and I'm now in a completely different world. I'm so glad I had enough skills and intelligence to get me out of there but I do feel sorry for those still there as they face a crap future under the 'leadership' of Adam Crozier.

So I think I'll make the most of this moment. I 've got a vegetable curry, naan and chana dhal with a free bottle of Cobra thrown in to plough through, a nice robust red to quaff later and a few episodes of QI, Touring Britain and Mad Men to enjoy. Cheers!


I've not been out and about with my camera recently so I've been doctoring a few of my old snaps. I found this website www.tiltshiftmaker.com that allows you to make fake tilt shift pics that look like models.


Here's another.