OCCUPIED COUNTRY

Everyone's Gone to the Movies....

We were having a discussion at work the other day. Films, movies, cinema, pictures….whatever you want to call them....was what the discussion centred on and the primary subject was what films were/are worth making the effort to go and see on the big screen?

Now, I’m not a great fan of the cinema-attending experience: overpriced popcorn, pic’n’mix and soft drinks combined with the close proximity of the rest of the audience makes for a dull evening’s entertainment in my book. When I combine that with some of the fare on offer I can quite cheerfully wait until the latest ‘must-see’ appears on the TV or on DVD. I think it’s because I come from an era when the cinema-going experience was one to be savoured. They were occasions that lasted hours. There would be a support film, a cartoon and other bits and bobs before the main feature. And the main features lasted hours. You would walk into the cinema in broad daylight and reappear hours later in the depths of night with blinking eyes and an arse devoid of feeling. Ben Hur, Lawrence of Arabia, Spartacus and many others. They were that long the had intervals in the middle so you could relieve yourself and take on more refreshments. Proper films.

Whereas today they barely last ninety minutes to two hours. And if one should break the two hour barrier it’s almost always referred to in the reviews as though to warn those of a limited attention span that they would probably be best not bothering.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying old=good new=bad, some contemporary films are superb and equally some old films are crap. It’s the experience I’m castigating – or at least the experiences I encountered on my most recent visits to the ‘pictures’.

Needless to say my colleagues (who are mainly younger) disagreed telling me that the whole ‘movie-going’ business was brilliant nowadays and a far cry from their experiences in the distant past. It was then that we started harking back to the last film we had seen in a cinema and it was then that I started racking my brains.

I was convinced it wasn’t long ago but after sifting through my ailing memory it came as a shock to realise the last time I had set foot in one of the places was 1981! Dearest and I took the kids to se ET.

Nineteen eighty bloody one! My thesis was hanging in tatters. How could I maintain a credible argument when it was based on research that was not far off thirty years old? It was time to accept defeat and start considering the possibility of heading for the local multiplex which, I am told, are nowadays full of big comfy seats and bars. But what to see?

Angels & Demons
Doghouse
Drag Me to Hell
Last Chance Harvey
Looking For Eric
Night at the Museum 2
Red Cliff
Star Trek
Terminator Salvation
The Hangover

I have actually heard of the majority of them but ‘Looking for Eric’ apart I certainly wouldn’t make an effort to see any of the rest. Even ‘Looking for Eric’ isn’t really a must-see-on-a-big-screen flick is it? In fact it would probably benefit from a more intimate small screen showing from what I’ve read of the reviews. Mind you it’s about Manchester U-bloody-nited and it may just tip me over the edge. “Je ne suis pas un homme, je suis Cantona” my arse!

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I’m off to see Neil Young next Tuesday evening. Finally, after thirty odd years of listening to him, I am able to actually attend one of his shows. In the past they have coincided with weddings, holidays, other already made plans and sold out signs. Eldest and Mrs Eldest are coming as well. Down to Nottingham via rail and then an overnight stay.

I’ve been perusing the set lists from the tour so far and the portents are good. I reckon we can definitely count on Mansion on the Hill, Cortez the Killer, Cinnamon Girl, Heart of Gold, Old Man, Hey Hey My My, Pocahontas, Everybody knows this is Nowhere, Are You Ready for the Country, The Needle and the Damage Done, Unknown Legend, Down by the River and Rockin’ in the Free World. We may also get Like a Hurricane, Tonight’s the Night, Fuckin’ Up, Comes a Time, From Hank to Hendrix and World on a String. That’ll do me – fan friendly and accessible to those (like Mrs Eldest) who don’t really know his stuff. Should be grand!

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Hazel Blears eh? What a twonk. Mind you, she’s very sorry now for resigning when she did and taking the mickey (however justified) out of Gordon’s YouTube appearance. It’s patently obvious that she didn’t think the PM would survive the aftershocks of the European and local elections and even more patently obvious that she thought she’d been clever by getting out and – in her view at least – positioning herself for a cabinet position under the next incumbent. Whoops! Never jump when you’re not sure where the shore is.

What really got my goat was the brooch. ‘Rocking the boat’. What the hell was that about? What was going through her smug little mind as she pinned that to her coat? God knows but I know this, those three errors of judgement plus the little matter of her woeful paying back of the innocent £13,000 should ensure that she does not get re-selected for her Salford constituency again. If she does I think the local Labour Party are in for a surprise come the next General Election. Still at least she’ll be able to repent at leisure.

As a result of these shenanigans, I’ve heard and read some brilliant descriptions of Ms Blears. I thought ‘like a feral Krankie’ was good but ‘Bride of Chucky’ was spot on.