Everyone's Gone to the Movies....

We were having a discussion at work the other day. Films, movies, cinema, pictures….whatever you want to call them....was what the discussion centred on and the primary subject was what films were/are worth making the effort to go and see on the big screen?

Now, I’m not a great fan of the cinema-attending experience: overpriced popcorn, pic’n’mix and soft drinks combined with the close proximity of the rest of the audience makes for a dull evening’s entertainment in my book. When I combine that with some of the fare on offer I can quite cheerfully wait until the latest ‘must-see’ appears on the TV or on DVD. I think it’s because I come from an era when the cinema-going experience was one to be savoured. They were occasions that lasted hours. There would be a support film, a cartoon and other bits and bobs before the main feature. And the main features lasted hours. You would walk into the cinema in broad daylight and reappear hours later in the depths of night with blinking eyes and an arse devoid of feeling. Ben Hur, Lawrence of Arabia, Spartacus and many others. They were that long the had intervals in the middle so you could relieve yourself and take on more refreshments. Proper films.

Whereas today they barely last ninety minutes to two hours. And if one should break the two hour barrier it’s almost always referred to in the reviews as though to warn those of a limited attention span that they would probably be best not bothering.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying old=good new=bad, some contemporary films are superb and equally some old films are crap. It’s the experience I’m castigating – or at least the experiences I encountered on my most recent visits to the ‘pictures’.

Needless to say my colleagues (who are mainly younger) disagreed telling me that the whole ‘movie-going’ business was brilliant nowadays and a far cry from their experiences in the distant past. It was then that we started harking back to the last film we had seen in a cinema and it was then that I started racking my brains.

I was convinced it wasn’t long ago but after sifting through my ailing memory it came as a shock to realise the last time I had set foot in one of the places was 1981! Dearest and I took the kids to se ET.

Nineteen eighty bloody one! My thesis was hanging in tatters. How could I maintain a credible argument when it was based on research that was not far off thirty years old? It was time to accept defeat and start considering the possibility of heading for the local multiplex which, I am told, are nowadays full of big comfy seats and bars. But what to see?

Angels & Demons
Doghouse
Drag Me to Hell
Last Chance Harvey
Looking For Eric
Night at the Museum 2
Red Cliff
Star Trek
Terminator Salvation
The Hangover

I have actually heard of the majority of them but ‘Looking for Eric’ apart I certainly wouldn’t make an effort to see any of the rest. Even ‘Looking for Eric’ isn’t really a must-see-on-a-big-screen flick is it? In fact it would probably benefit from a more intimate small screen showing from what I’ve read of the reviews. Mind you it’s about Manchester U-bloody-nited and it may just tip me over the edge. “Je ne suis pas un homme, je suis Cantona” my arse!

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I’m off to see Neil Young next Tuesday evening. Finally, after thirty odd years of listening to him, I am able to actually attend one of his shows. In the past they have coincided with weddings, holidays, other already made plans and sold out signs. Eldest and Mrs Eldest are coming as well. Down to Nottingham via rail and then an overnight stay.

I’ve been perusing the set lists from the tour so far and the portents are good. I reckon we can definitely count on Mansion on the Hill, Cortez the Killer, Cinnamon Girl, Heart of Gold, Old Man, Hey Hey My My, Pocahontas, Everybody knows this is Nowhere, Are You Ready for the Country, The Needle and the Damage Done, Unknown Legend, Down by the River and Rockin’ in the Free World. We may also get Like a Hurricane, Tonight’s the Night, Fuckin’ Up, Comes a Time, From Hank to Hendrix and World on a String. That’ll do me – fan friendly and accessible to those (like Mrs Eldest) who don’t really know his stuff. Should be grand!

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Hazel Blears eh? What a twonk. Mind you, she’s very sorry now for resigning when she did and taking the mickey (however justified) out of Gordon’s YouTube appearance. It’s patently obvious that she didn’t think the PM would survive the aftershocks of the European and local elections and even more patently obvious that she thought she’d been clever by getting out and – in her view at least – positioning herself for a cabinet position under the next incumbent. Whoops! Never jump when you’re not sure where the shore is.

What really got my goat was the brooch. ‘Rocking the boat’. What the hell was that about? What was going through her smug little mind as she pinned that to her coat? God knows but I know this, those three errors of judgement plus the little matter of her woeful paying back of the innocent £13,000 should ensure that she does not get re-selected for her Salford constituency again. If she does I think the local Labour Party are in for a surprise come the next General Election. Still at least she’ll be able to repent at leisure.

As a result of these shenanigans, I’ve heard and read some brilliant descriptions of Ms Blears. I thought ‘like a feral Krankie’ was good but ‘Bride of Chucky’ was spot on.

See The Sky About To Rain.....

Today we had a good old-fashioned trip to the seaside. Butties, a flask, a dog and a positive attitude was all we needed so the car was made ready and off we sped in the glorious June sunshine. Didn't we have a lovely time, the day we went to.......

We had planned on heading Southport way, to the endless beaches and dunes of that part of the Lancashire coastline that doesn’t have a place called Blackpool stuck in the middle of it like a running sore. Southport would be ideal, we could let the dog exercise for a good two minutes or so before she would collapse in an exhausted heap and I could photograph the endless horizon whilst contemplating mortality. Dearest could get some sea air to her broken bits and it would be just like being kids again.

“Are we there yet?”

Except we never made it to Southport. Somebody (ahem) wasn’t paying attention to the road signs on the motorway and he missed the turn off. We were heading for North Wales at a rate of knots with no immediate means of retracing, so we decided to stay with it. After all, there was no schedule, no timetable, just two crazy kids and a dog on the highway to oblivion!

It was looking like Conwy or Llandudno – that’s where we usually end up when we can’t think of anywhere else to go. And, to be fair we have had some cracking times there in the past with the kids and others. It’s a beautiful part of the world but one that we’ve been to too often.

Then we saw a sign that said ‘Prestatyn’. Now we haven’t been there for years so we thought we’d give it a go. I vaguely remembered a decent beach and tacky 1950s seaside architecture. To be frank I was in the mood for a decent beach and some tacky 1950s seaside architecture. Mirror, signal and manoeuvre – we turned right and tootled down some delightful country roads and through some cute little Welsh villages and hamlets before pitching up on Prestatyn’s sea front. After paying and displaying we set off down what turned out to be an absolutely excellent three mile walk down a practically deserted sea front. Dunes on one side, the beach on the other. No ice-cream kiosks, do-nut sellers, ‘amusement’ arcades or ‘kiss-me-quick’ hats anywhere.

We really did enjoy ourselves. A good six mile walk and the quality of the light was special – sunshine from one part of the sky and heavy clouds in the other. My favourite visual treat. There was a becalmed wind farm out at sea standing testament to the stillness of the day. It were grand, as they say in the vernacular.

And then my hip started to ache. Another physical niggle to add to the growing list. Old age? It’s a bitch.

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I see Real Madrid aren’t “killing football” with their recent spending. It’s only City who get accused of that. £80million plus £45million for Kaka. Wages for the pair of them that would make anybody’s eyes water and hardly a Gallic eyebrow raised. Monsieur Platini mustn’t have been paying that much attention. Oh sure he did make the odd comment but it’s nothing like the bile he directed at the Sky Blues in January. But then again, Madrid aren’t rocking the boat are they? As long as the billions flow between the ‘Big’ clubs then all’s OK and the World can carry on spinning.

La petite tarte!

Her's some pics from today.......


See the sky, about to rain...


The errant possessive apostrophe.


Skulkin'


Outlook: Mixed!


Foreshore


Beach


Time to go.


Reflections in public art.

That's all folks!

Same As It Ever Was......

So, the vagaries of PR, coupled with a dismal turnout, have resulted in the current leader of the BNP and the ex-leader of the NF heading for Brussels to presumably team up with others of like mind. It’s a sad day when the political process delivers as unpalatable a pair as this but hey, that’s democracy and the people have spoken although they did poll fewer votes than last time. We may not agree with their choice but we have to take on board the thought processes behind the voting; thought processes that the chattering classes just don’t seem capable of ever understanding.

Like the politicians they endlessly interview, too many of our opinion formers and recorders have never lived in the world that the vast majority inhabit. A world of monotonous, far-from-secure, low-paid jobs that Polly Toynbee, for example, simply wouldn’t recognise. She looked shell-shocked last night Ms Toynbee, although she did accept that she could understand why low-skilled workers would feel threatened by a huge influx of highly skilled and ambitious young Poles, completely ignoring the fact that many of them worked for lower pay than existing workers and also ignoring the fact that the vast majority of them have now gone back home.

Personally, although I thought we wouldn’t find ourselves in this position, I’m not surprised that the far right have made inroads in the ex-textile towns of the North West and Yorkshire. Far from the cultural melting pot that the Toynbees of this world believe that these places are, all I see are ghettos where different cultures exist side by side and no matter how hard the powers-that-be try to integrate them, they are as compartmentalised as ever.

When I had the misfortune to deliver Mail my first round was in Glodwick. You may vaguely remember the place – it was the epicentre of the Oldham riots a few years back and it is almost exclusively Asian. Shops, businesses, mosques all geared to a population that definitely wasn’t, and still isn’t integrating. A couple of miles south and you’re in Fitton Hill: almost exclusively White and with a population that definitely isn’t integrating either. 5,400+ votes the BNP acquired in Oldham. I bet you could come up with a fairly good guess where they came from.

I would imagine this same situation is replicated in Burnley, Bradford, Blackburn etc. And yet, to listen to the great and the good you would think that entirely the opposite is true. We all dream of living in harmonious multi-cultural societies but to blithely assume, from the comfort of Hampstead, that such situations are the norm is, at best wishful thinking and, at worst sheer ignorance. As I said in my last post, this is a debate that needs honesty on all sides and it needs to begin soon. Middle class commentators interviewing middle class representatives of ‘Inter-Faith’ groups is not – and has never been – the way forward.

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Another thing that has surprised me about the election results, both European and local is the lack of imagination the electorate has shown in their response to the ‘collapse of trust’ that the expenses farrago has supposedly triggered.

It seems to me that all they’ve done is revert to type, given the incumbents a kicking and transferred their votes to the other main opposition party or stayed at home and watched Big Brother. Lord knows there were enough alternatives on the ballot paper for some constructive protest voting apart from the BNP. It’s an opportunity lost and one that we may all live to regret. It wasn’t just Labour politicians with their snouts in the trough but I’ve got a funny feeling that years down the line the moat-cleaning and duck islands will be forever linked with Labour, just like the three-day week of the early Seventies is.

This electoral timidity will result in the psephologists of the main parties believing they got off the hook and it’s business as usual. All that’s required is to sit back, head down and wait until swine flu or something takes over the headlines again. Gordon, for example, is reported as considering slowing the privatisation of Royal Mail. Slowing down? What sort of procrastinating, Asquithian response is that? What the hell is that going to achieve? That’s not a change of policy. His response to this battering is to ‘slow something down’? He’s also apparently on the verge of announcing an enquiry into the Iraq war. An enquiry eh? And how long will that take to report? Decades I reckon and even then it will be a whitewash. Here's an idea Gordon, ditch the ridiculous ID Card scheme. That would do for starters.

They think they’ve got away with it and, you know what?

They have.

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I watched the England v Kazakhstan game on Saturday. It was a scrappy affair not helped by the state of the pitch but, in the end, we got the result even though none of the team performed outstandingly. It’s always nice being able to watch two Manchester City players in England shirts as well.

Come Sunday morning I ambled down to the paper shop and bought The Observer, The Mail and the Daily Mirror (the latter at the request of Dearest as there was something in it she wanted ?). As I lazily poached a couple of eggs I skimmed the match report statistics in the Mirror. They have a helpful section called ‘villain of the game’ or something like that. Guess who it was. Yup, new City signing Gareth Barry. Now I don’t happen to think he had a great game but after the first twenty minutes or so I though he settled down and let’s not forget he did get the first goal. Glen Johnston on the other hand made mistakes that almost led to goals and was generally skinned every time the opposition approached. David Beckham was pointless, lacklustre and wasteful. But Gareth was the villain.

I opened the Mail, they gave Gareth 8 out of 10 for his performance and the Observer was similarly complementary.

Now I don’t normally read the Mirror as it’s a comic not a newspaper, but I have heard a lot of City fans complain about its in-built anti City reporters and I have seen some uncalled for bile on their website in the past, but this for me takes the biscuit. This isn’t reportage it’s petty and pathetic and the reporters (for it is more than one) need to get a life.

Oooops I Did It Again......

I’ll tell you what, this ‘house-husband’ malarkey is bloody hard work. Take the glorious weekend that has just flashed by. Instead of languidly greeting the morning and easing myself into the day ahead I had to jump out of bed and attack the garden, a garden that has not been attended to for quite some weeks (months possibly). The grass was a good 8 to 10 inches high and the ‘lawn’ itself was still damp from all the rain we’ve been experiencing in these parts. It was almost too much for the aging Flymo, but after an hour of cursing, pushin’, sweatin’, pullin’ swearin’ and a-cussin’ the first pass was complete.

“That looks a mess” observed Dearest helpfully as I wiped salty sweat from my eyes, jealously observed the next door neighbours reclining in the heat with a glass of something cool and considered phase two.

“We need a strimmer!”

I set off in the increasing heat to the local branch of Focus. This, in retrospect was a big mistake as the roadworks pixies had been out overnight putting up a temporary yet complicated six set traffic light sequence that was cheerfully holding up vehicles in what seemed like a twenty mile radius all round the store I was trying to access. A mass road rage outbreak was simmering just beneath the surface as I finally parked up in their crowded car park and marched purposefully in.

Within minutes I was walking resignedly out. There’s been a “run” on strimmers and all they had left were top of the range solid gold models with a price tag to match.

Time for plan B. B and Q. Once more into the congestion.

In short it took me nearly two hours to purchase a strimmer. Given that my original destination was a mere half mile from my front door I think that can be described as excessive. But, undaunted I assembled the various parts and approached the lawn edge. I pulled the trigger and the grass and weeds fell. Twenty seconds later I had the strimmer unplugged and was threading more cord through as the first ten seconds of activity was too much for the original. Over the next hour or so I must have repeated this fulfilling activity fifteen times as the flora took it’s toll.

Eventually it was over and the lawn edges were once again defined and the weeds and overgrowth had gone. “Dearest’ll be impressed now” I thought as I readied myself for one more mow.

“Where have my ornamental grasses gone?”

Sometimes you just can’t win……….

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Later, after a long horticultural lecture from Dearest, we decamped to the local beer garden and were soon joined by Eldest, Mrs Eldest, Eldest’s best man and his two year old twin boys. By the time we were ready to leave we had been joined by another five or six – friends that is, not twins - although by this time we were inside the pub as it did cool significantly as the sun dropped. Before we left I had been convinced to book a flight to Nice in order to watch Barcelona take on Shakthar Donesk in Monaco. It’s the winners of the Champion’s League v the winners of the EUFA Cup and it should be a great opportunity for me to watch a shedload of City’s future stars play for Barca as we’re about to buy them all apparently.

Sunday arrived and the ironing pile had reached tipping point. What a great way to pass the time in a heatwave, The only way to approach this task was stripped to my boxers with an electric fan gently cooling me.

I’ll soon have lost pounds at this rate.

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Here in the North West we’re “being targeted by the BNP” according to local news sources. Come Thursday’s Euro elections the “thugs in suits” hope to gain enough of a share of the vote to send a significant number of representatives to Strasbourg. Certainly the press seem to think so because the number of articles on the dangers of using them as a protest vote against the mainstream parties must now be in three figures at least. Locally we’ve had the Manchester Evening News, The Oldham Chronicle and Advertiser. Nationally The Observer, Guardian, Mirror and a host of others all running with similar analyses. Add to this the features on “the murky past” of most – if not all – BNP leaders and the worry among the liberal elite becomes palpable.

I think I have a little more faith in the electorate than that. I think the likes of UKIP, The English Democratic Party and maybe The Greens will receive the protest votes. Moreover we could see a massive rise in abstentions and spoilt papers. Sure there will be an increase for the fascists but not on the scale that is feared. People, on the whole, aren’t stupid and it will only be those that are who will vote for the racist tossers.

What doesn’t help in situations like this though is when a climate of fear of expressing a viewpoint that challenges the prevailing multi-culturism-and-diversity-is-always-good stance is met with a carte blanche charge of racism and bigotry. The left at present seems to me to be shooting itself in the foot over this issue by appearing to condone cultures that oppress women and discriminate against other cultures – mainly western capitalism – the very culture that allows them the freedom of speech to call for its overthrow. There’s some very flawed logic knocking around this whole area and the politicians and opinion formers need to start addressing it seriously.

Fascism exists in many different guises and it doesn’t always have a white face.

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Dearest won’t be able to “roll with it” this coming weekend. Originally she was to have attended one of the Oasis concerts in Manchester’s Heaton Park with Mrs Eldest but the broken shoulder has rendered it unwise to do so. She will just have to make sure it’s OK for the Neil Young gig on June 23rd.

I'll Regret It All In The Morning

Well what a challenging couple of weeks that was, awash with travel, fun, laughter and catastrophe.

It all started with Dearest, Eldest, Mrs Eldest, Youngest, Mrs Youngest and myself flying to Corfu Town to rendezvous with the good ship Celebration for a week of cruising the Adriatic: Koper, Venice, Split, Dubrovnik and Kotor. Free food and free drink added a certain je ne sais quoi . A good time was going to be had by all.

And, in fairness, a good time was had by most of us. The itinerary was superb and the ship was excellent. Unfortunately one of our party thought it would be a good idea to break her shoulder on the first night!! Good old Dearest thought that a spot of Riverdancing was a good idea after a few hours of free cocktails. A visit to the ship’s medical centre followed where Dearest was strapped up and medicated. The day after was a day at sea so she didn’t get an X-Ray until we arrived in Slovenia on Sunday morning. She was than strapped into a strange Velcro contraption that left her with very little movement but protected her enough to get around without too much discomfort. Nights were worse though as she couldn’t get comfortable and ended up having to sleep almost sitting up. Painkillers through the nights and Vodka and Diet Cokes through the days saw her through though and she did enjoy herself in her own way. £800 it cost us which we have now got to try to wring out of our travel insurance.

I’ve got a feeling it may take some time.

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As I write Burnley have just won the play off final and will grace the Premiership next season. I bet Alistair Campbell is cock-a-hoop. It’s great having all these Lancashire mill towns represented in the top competition again. Bolton, Blackburn and now Burnley, it’s just like the fifties again.

I wonder if Sheffield United will try to sue somebody?

Congratulations to the Mackems and the Tigers too. Both of them avoided relegation yesterday although Mrs Eldest (being a Geordie and a ‘Toon fan) had what can only be described as a bad day. Still, she comforted herself with the fact that ‘Boro went down too.

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The sun shone on Bank Holiday weekend and the barbecues were being fired up all around. The smell of cheap sausage and beefburgers was overwhelming. Why aren’t folk a little more adventurous when it comes to glowing charcoal? You may as well stick sausage and beefburgers under the grill. Use your imagination. Barbecue some fish – sea bass, trout. Spear some good stuff and make kebabs – peppers, onions, courgettes etc. Marinade something. Make an effort, make plans BEFORE you drag out the rusting bucket from behind the shed.

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Politicians eh? Thieving bastards. Well, not all politicians obviously because, believe it or not there are some really hard-working, honest ‘doing-it-for-all-the-right-reasons’ people out there. Helping constituents, sitting on select committees, doing all that tedious, unsung crappy stuff that needs to be done. Rarely appearing on TV, rarely attracting media attention at all actually. Just diligently plodding away at their vocation. Just doing the job they don’t get overpaid to do. And doing it well.

But then you get the pisstakers. I don’t know what’s worse; claiming to have your moat cleaned or claiming for a packet of HobNobs, a bath plug or a toilet brush. Hazel Blears unable to grasp that by writing a cheque for £13,000 she was not only accepting she knew her moral compass had been interfered with but, moreover, her Salfordian constituents would have watched her do that and think ‘I barely earn £13,000 a year and yet this ‘Socialist’ can cavalierly sign away a similar sum whilst grinning her fixed grin and staring down the media’.

Meanwhile the odious pair who were the first to be fingered for ‘inadvertently’ claiming rent on a second home owned by a trust have finally announced they are to stand down at the next election because they ‘cannot maintain the hectic pace politics’. Hmmmm, really? I look forward to further revelations in July.

It really is shocking just what has emerged over the past few weeks. I mean this isn’t just a few – no matter what Anne Widdicombe and the rest say – this is a sizeable number of senior politicians with their nose in the trough and an inability to understand that ordinary working people, who were already disillusioned with the state of politics, have now been tipped over the edge. We have Cabinet members who have claimed £11,000 for personal accountancy advice. Jacqui Smith, Blears (again), Miliband, Purnell, Douglas Alexander, Geoff Hoon and Hilary Benn and Alistair Darling.

Perception is all that matters here and there can be no doubt that – regardless of all the aforementioned ‘good guys and gals’ – Parliament is now viewed as a joke filled with main chancers and grubby little snake oil salesmen. When public faith in political institutions is undermined to this extent then the vacuum that remains is in danger of being filled by the advocates of extremity. Intent on convincing us that we need to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Change in our system is long overdue but the last thing we need is a knee-jerk response that leaves us with a half-arsed, ill-thought solution that within a short time produces yet more problems.

Fingers crossed.

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Do you remember my posts from last summer regarding the double suicide of Shughie and Ronald? Well here's the newspaper report of the Coroner's findings:-

A DEVOTED father and son were even united in death as they carried out a shocking suicide pact after being unable to live without each other.

Mystery surrounded the deaths of Shugie and Ronald after the pair — aged 87 and 58 —were found hanged in their house in Failsworth by horrified neighbours on July 5, last year.

As a double inquest yesterday revealed details of a tragic past blighted with health problems, coroner Simon Nelson described it as the saddest inquest he had dealt with in 10 years.

Shughie’s sister-in-law Ida Wrigley told the Oldham hearing: “There was a very close and loving relationship between father and son. I don’t think they could have lived without each other.”

Ronald was diagnosed with a brain tumour aged only 13. He needed eight hours of surgery and was initially unable to walk or talk. With the help of his mum, Beryl, Ronald fully recovered to become a draughtsman and a qualified glider pilot.

Beryl died 15 years ago. In 2001, Ronald was diagnosed with dystonia, a painful condition affecting control of the neck muscles.

The former Chadderton Grammar School pupil, who always lived with his parents and never married, had to stop working and give up his hobby and socialising.

Several years ago his dad discovered a note on his computer and found Ronald in bed after taking an overdose. He was hospitalised for five weeks.

Shughie, a retired engineer, began having breathing problems four years before his death. He was advised to get rid of a pigeon they kept inside the house.

Doctors’ records showed Shughie had glaucoma, high blood pressure and osteoarthritis but neither had made suicidal comments or shown signs of depression. Ronald had been receiving botox injections but it had stopped relieving his neck problems.

Mrs Wrigley said: “Shughie was a very nice, friendly man, quietly spoken and very reserved. Ronald was a very pleasant, laid back and reserved gentlemen but never spoke of concerns.”

The pair were found by neighbour TWLFWWLND after Shughie’s niece Susan Thompson, from Failsworth, became worried she had not heard from the pair, who she described as very friendly and very good to her but who kept themselves to themselves.

Shughie left behind a box of financial documents and instructions for solicitors and a suicide note, which spoke of his intention to kill himself and the pair’s worsening health.

Detective Inspector Derek Weaver said the pair had hanged themselves next to each other in an identical manner. Ronald’s rope had unravelled and he was found lying at his dad’s feet.

He said there was nothing to suggest either had assisted the other against their will and it appeared a joint venture.

Recording a verdict that they each took their own life, Mr Nelson said: “There was a tremendous bond between them. Just as they cared for each other in life they were united in death.”

Ah well....back to life.........

Snaps


Butterflies? In the Adriatic?


Leaving Montenegro.


It's a hard life.


Yes it is.


Kotor, Montenegro.


Dubrovnik, Croatia.


Dubrovnik, Croatia.


Farewell Venice.


I dream of Venice.


Venice.


Reflections on the hull


Corfu Town.

That's all folks!

I Dream in Pictures Not in Words......

A day in Manchester soaking up the spring sunshine and listening to Mallorcan rock bands strut their stuff . It’s a Balaeric celebration this week in the People’s Republic of Mancunium. Good (though pricey) food and drink to be enjoyed in Manchester’s heart with the added attraction of processions of a uniquely Spanish flavour.

Strange then that as I ventured onto Cross Street I was confronted by a march (complete with fifes and drums) consisting of the Apprentice Boys of Derry with sashes and Red Hand of Ulster badges. “That’ll go down well with the overwhelmingly Catholic sensibilities of our guests” I thought. But what do I know? It may have been a Council initiative to ‘integrate’ two diverse bodies under the all-embracing umbrella of Municipal Diversity”. Experience favours a ‘cock up’ though.

Whatever the reason it fecking jarred. NOT the time and NOT the place. Observers were overheard - as they walked away – complaining that they hadn’t come to watch bigots bang drums, play flutes and wear orange sashes and I have to agree. It may be viewed in these times as part of the ‘Truth and Reconciliation’ process in Northern Ireland but I – and many others – can do without it over here: Catholic or Protestant. Raking up history from hundreds of years ago and trying to present it as justification for the mindless hatred of today should be left to political dilettantes, trainee dictators and Peter Hitchens.

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The rest of it was grand though, but a little ‘samey’. So I strolled off to photograph the statue of Abraham Lincoln in his bling, only to discover that his dalliance with Hip-Hop was all over and he once again stood tall, bronze and devoid of Ratner jewellery. So Spinningfileds and then on to Castlefield before calling in the Briton’s Protection for a great pint of Cumberland Ale. If you're ever in Manchester Mr Yorkshire Pudding - or other beer lovers, this is the real deal. A gorgeous, old-fashioned pub with a great range of real ales amd single malts.

I love Manchester. I do.

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I finished watching GBH. Simply, heart-breakingly, toe-curlingly and side-splittingly wonderful. Seven episodes all lasting around 90 minutes and all better than any so-called 90 minute blockbuster’ coming to your local cinema any day soon. Characters that have revealed themselves to you as the series progresses. Plotlines that leave you guessing and even the sole car chase culminates in one of the funniest sequences in the series. Buy it. Rent it. Steal it and remember when Channel Four was renowned for ground-breaking, intelligent drama.

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Commiserations to Just Jane. I know what relegation feels like.

Chin up girl! Promotion next season!!!!!


Deansgate Locks. Central Manchester.


Harry Vickers' Gates. Chetham's School. Central Manchester.


Bridgewater Canal. Central Manchester.


Madchester Rules. Site of the Hacienda. Central Manchester.


A gorgeous Georgian building on Duke Street, Castefield.


Spinningfields. Manchester.


Spinningfields, Manchester.


Spinningfields, Manchester.


A Walk in the Woods.


Garden

That's All Folks......

My Old Friend the Blues.....

Have some Ella and Dinah. Sheer class.

25-O-Clock.....

Right, it's official: Spotify is my new best friend! What a marvellous little application and with more artists and music being added every day it can only get better. Should we be worried by that? Are we all getting sucked in until we hit critical mass and then the free, advertising included version becomes subscription only? Time will tell I guess but at the moment I'm going to fill my boots.

At the moment the advertising is pretty minimal and most of the time it's 'Roberta from Spotify' extolling the virtues of the subscription service. 23 minutes or so between adverts so I suppose another option would be to cram a few more in to keep the revenue stream healthy. At that point it might get a little annoying but let's face it it's no different than commercial radio or even the BBC with their constant advertisements for themselves. What does differentiate it from the radio though is that YOU pick the music whether it be revisiting old favourites or discovering the new. So even with a bit more advertising it's still preferable to the mindless radio pandering to vapid 'music-by-numbers', air-brushed pretty boys and girls who are more fixated on celebrity than creation.

Anyway, through Spotify I have finally caught up with the Dukes of Stratosfear - XTC's Andy Partridge, Dave Gregory and Colin Moulding's psychedelic side project that spawned two albums in the mid 80s. I was aware of it and briefly, long ago had a listen to a couple of tracks on a circular black plastic gizmo that you had to extract the sound from with a needle!! All I can say in my defence is that I was probably not susceptible to their type of music at that time - the mid 80s being all about drum machines, synthesisers and snoods. Pixie boots as well as I recall. Not that I would've been seen swanning around in such outlandish garb.. I'd already gone through that phase in the 70s.

So it was a pleasant surprise when one of their tracks turned up on a Spotify play list and I liked it so much I searched for the rest of their stuff and was just blown away by the attention to detail in their reinvention of late 60s psychedelic pop and rock. You can recognise the homage to the works of the Beatles, Pink Floyd, The Byrds, The Move, The Small Faces, The Who and others. An aural treat.

I have heard - but haven't verified it yet - that the Stones Roses requested producer John Leckie for desk duty on their debut as a result of the Dukes' two albums. Anybody know if that's true?

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I got given a ticket to see the Australian Pink Floyd play 'The Wall' in it's entirety at the MEN Arena on Wednesday. A pretty impressive show it was as well even though I'm not a great fan of The Wall and only a lukewarm Floydy. The musicianship was superb. Close your eyes and it could've been Floyd themselves. Open your eyes and there was quite a spectacle with back projections, lasers and inflatable pigs, schoolteachers and...er.....kangaroos. All in all a very impressive show that lasted not far off three hours after a forty minute encore that included Shine on you Crazy Diamond, Wish You Were Here and a couple of tracks from Dark Side.

It's not the real thing though is it? For all their artistry and witty musical and visual interventions (Waltzing Matilda creeping into the opening quiet bit, the hammer heads turning into kangaroos), there's an authenticity that eludes 'mere' copyists. I don't think it's an issue when you're watching a tribute band in a small club or pub somewhere, but when it's in an arena holding four to five thousand it's just unseemly. Like they've usurped the righful owners' kudos and limelight. Like they think they're the real thing.

All told I'm glad I went though. Would I go again? Nah.

Then again I wouldn't go to see the original Pink Floyd play The Wall in it's entirety either. Just Comfortably Numb please I can do without the rest of the juvenile lyrics and fairly one-dimensional music that accompanies it.

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Along with Spotify and iPlayer I've finally got Channel Four's on demand service up and running on my PC. So, first up was The Devil's Whore, a recently broadcast four parter following the eponymous heroine through the trials and tribulations of the English Civil War. I thought it did a good job of the politics of the period although I felt the main protagonists were fairly shallow characterisations. But with less than four hours to tell the story they probably did as much as they could. On the whole enjoyable.

What did cheer me was when I stumbled on the entire series of GBH sat in the Channel Four archives and available for free. I loved this when it was first released in the early nineties and I'm really looking forward to watching all seven 90-minute episodes again. I hope I'm not disappointed.

Death and the Maiden.....

So how come the Decemberists haven't blipped on the Occupied Country radar until this week? Their new album is a dark delight. Hop along to Spotify and have a listen it's almost (heh) a concept album of Seventies' pretension. I say 'almost' but thinking about it and listening to it I would say it's definitely a concept album with a theme of knavish roguery, infanticide and other nefarious doings. It's downloading from Amazon as I type so Spotify can't be killing music can it?

Another cracking new album to join The Felice Brothers, Elbow, Bon Iver and The Fleet Foxes from the past couple of years (if that) that are up there with the best. In fact there's probably at least a couple more that will come to me later, but my brain won't work like it used to and instead of what I want to remember I usually end up with entirely unrelated nonsense that has no place in the unfolding scenario.

A few of us trooped off to see Tinariwen and Tunng grace the same stage last Friday night. A great show marred by noisy, drunken feckers and an absolutely packed to the point of 'can you see the fire escape?' panic. Being the age I am I needed a pee and began my tortuous attempt to reach the exit and toilet before I needed to go no more. It took ages and after my visit I simply couldn't get back to where the rest of the gang were. In fact I could barely get through the doors and contented myself stood just outside with a glass of something alcoholic and an ear attuned to the sounds within, a sound that just works even though it shouldn't. Recommended.

And just when music was beginning to cheer me up again, I hear an advert on the TV for 'May You Never, John Martyn's Greatest Hits.' That didn't take long did it? And the, on top of that Spandau Ballet announce they're reforming because they 'miss the touring and playing together.' Oh...and the money I would've thought.

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Dearest and Youngest's Darlin' have gone to the Pictures (as we still say 'round these parts) to see 'Marley and Me', a film that, in my view, holds all the attraction of a ghastly, incurable disease. I would sincerely rather chew my own kneecap off than waste money on twee Anistonised crap like that. Life's too short.

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So, what a week it's been what with St Jade dying in a blaze of Red Top inspired hypocrisy of the highest order and her widower being allowed to attend the funeral instead of being banged up like any other similar miscreant. I suppose it's not Mr and Mrs Tweed's fault though, after all if they didn't sell the press wouldn't be interested. Panem et circenses. Bread and circuses.

And then United go and lose two on the trot – Liverpool and Fulham – and the title race is wide open again. Well, as 'wide open' as a two horse race can be, but at least there's a bit of tension in the air over at OT. Squeaky bum time as somebody once said. And City somehow contrive to snatch a very dodgy win over Aalborg and progress to their first European quarter final since Martin Luther nailed his Theses to the door of that church in Wiitenburg (or so it seems). And big Joe Royle returning to Boundary Park. Oldham's most successful manager ever who, when he left, left them in the Premiership and now returns as they attempt to get back into the Championship via the playoffs. You should never go back Joe, it will end in tears.

Bread and circuses.

Through My Sails....

Memories of Barcelona.

Loud Yanks sat next to us at the Zaraha Cocktail lounge talking skiing and 'powdery snow' while throwing back local beer.

Sitting sipping and watching humanity move past is as enjoyable as it can get. With no deadlines, no schedule and no plans it's great just to drift.

Youngest phoning, he's got four tickets (2 seated, 2 standing) for NEIL YOUNG! Nottingham sometime in June. I don't care what I'm doing. I don't care if I'm dead. I'll be there!

I'll be there!

Off to 'La Pedrera', Gaudi's greatest creation. We were astonished by the sheer architectural rebelliousness of the apartments and the other rooms, but the roof absolutely blew me – and Dearest away.

And then off to Parc Guell where the sun shone and the buskers busked and the visitors gasped. Gorgeous olives and a beer as we sat staring at Barcelona below us. Later to a shadier, quieter part of the park where a Lutenist filled the air with 'Sheep May Safely Graze'.

Watching City beat Allborg 2-0 in the EUFA cup.

Stumbling across a delightful mono-lingual tapas bar and quaffing draught San Miguel and partaking of the gratis olives, pickled gherkins and unknown - but tasty as buggery - meaty stuff. After a couple of drinks we venture forth and wander round Las Ramblas and the rest of the Barre Gotic.

Sitges. 45 minutes on the train – 11.40 Euros for 2 return tickets. After a saunter up and down the sea front we wandered around the old town before settling down for a rather nice bottle of sparkling rose between us and a spaghetti bolognese for me and a pepperoni pizza for Dearest.

Train back to Estacio del Franca and into a local bar showing Utd v Liverpool. We managed to see most of the 2nd half. What a shame that the 'Pool hammered 'em 4-1. ;-)

Off to the Barre Gotic on a lovely, almost balmy evening, where we had a couple of glasses of truly wonderful wine and some Tapas before sauntering around, getting hopelessly lost and acquiring a taxi to take us home.

Walking up the sea front to Poble Neu and then back down the front to Barconoletta. Miles, absolute miles in the sunshine as Barcelona's Sunday promenaders strolled, roller-bladed, bicycled and jogged.

Sauntering through a packed Parc de la Ciutadella late in the afternoon and trying to remember when our parks were as well used, as well tended and a joy to be in.


Sunday afternoon in the park


From the hotel window.


Fountain.


Window. Parc Guell.


A window in Gaudi's house. Guell Park.


On the roof. La Pedrera.


On the roof. La Pedrera.


On the roof. La Pedrera.


La Pedrera model.


Underwood typewriter, La Pedrera. My Grandad had one of these.


Ducks in the early morning sun. Parc de la Ciutadella.

It's a Mystery..

Something that has always intrigued has reared its ugly head again. I was reading John O'Farrell's 'An Utterly Impartial History of Britain' and he recounts the Boudicca uprising against the Romans when she and her followers attacked that there London laying waste to a lot of it. O'Farrell's footnote on the incident reads: “Thirteen feet beneath the pavements of the capital there is still a layer of the burnt remains left by Boudicca; part of it it exposed at the Barbican.”

Thirteen feet beneath? That's the key part of this that intrigues me. Whenever an archaeological activity takes place it always results in digging. Everything from the past appears to be underground. Artifacts, buildings, roads...whatever, always underground.

So here's my question: Is the World getting fatter? Is it somehow expanding year on year as a result of the extra layers of, well, dirt pile up? Anyone got any inside knowledge on this?

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A mate had a spare ticket to see Oldham Athletic v Leeds last Monday evening so I dashed home from work, devoured some absolutely divine sausage and mash (food of the Gods) and hightailed it up to Boundary Park. Oldham were playing in neon pink for the evening to support a local campaign to acquire a state-of-the-art breast scanner for the local hospital. It was a dour game that bucked up slightly in a two minute spell in the second half during which both goals were scored in a one all draw.

When Leeds equalised previously incognito Leeds fans revealed themselves via their inability to sit tight. It started to get quite ugly as some of the more 'Leeds-and-proud-of-it' hard boys started offering any Oldham fans out regardless of the odds. All this was happening about five yards from me and I was suddenly transported back to the 60s, 70s and 80s when attending a match carried the strong possibility of a trip to casualty. It didn't last long as the stewards and the Police soon stepped in and escorted the idiots out of the ground. As they went they were cheerfully flicking V signs at the Oldham supporters and shouting obscenities to all and sundry. Typical football-supporter thugs.

Except that they weren't typical football-supporter thugs. They weren't teenagers, they were grown men and by that I mean men in their forties. Men who probably had kids of their own, wives, mortgages, jobs. Why would men that age act in that way? Actively encouraging violence as though it would be the highlight of their evening?

As long as my arse points South I'll never understand that mentality. I guess I'm a lover not a fighter.

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Dearest and I are off to Barcelona come Wednesday. Five days in one of my favourite cities with the added bonus of VIP status at the hotel. Add to that the fact we've booked the VIP suite at the airport on departure and should be luxury all the way. I'll be taking all my technology and I've decided to see just what can be done with it when travelling. The camera, the mobile PC that is my phone and my newly acquired Netbook will all be packed in my rucksack along with my iPod. There's free WiFi throughout the hotel so the Netbook should come in really handy. Traditional media will be represented by a few books: the aforementioned History of Britain along with Stuart Maconie's search for Middle England 'Adventures on the High Teas' and the Rough Guide to Barcelona.

Can't wait.

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Y'know it was a year ago today that I handed in my bag and uniform and escaped from the hell that was the Royal Mail. A year! Where's that year gone? Faster than the speed of light that went. It only seems a few months ago. I still wake sometimes and think I'm still there. Now I don't know about you but I think that that signifies some deep psychological trauma. I still get flashbacks when I see those little red elastic bands lying around the streets, when I find myself behind one of their red vans or when I see one of the poor buggers trudging through the windswept streets with a ten ton bag on their shoulders.

It seriously has fundamentally altered my attitude to work and I promise myself I will NEVER find myself in such a ghastly situation again. Consumed 24/7. Incapable of going through my life without the thoughts of having to go and do that job constantly in my mind. Snapping at my nearest and dearest, depressed and downright bloody miserable. How the hell did I get through it?

Beats me. But I did and I'm now in a completely different world. I'm so glad I had enough skills and intelligence to get me out of there but I do feel sorry for those still there as they face a crap future under the 'leadership' of Adam Crozier.

So I think I'll make the most of this moment. I 've got a vegetable curry, naan and chana dhal with a free bottle of Cobra thrown in to plough through, a nice robust red to quaff later and a few episodes of QI, Touring Britain and Mad Men to enjoy. Cheers!


I've not been out and about with my camera recently so I've been doctoring a few of my old snaps. I found this website www.tiltshiftmaker.com that allows you to make fake tilt shift pics that look like models.


Here's another.

Movin' On

I'm becoming addicted to Spotify. I'm becoming addicted to iPlayer. What the hell did I do to entertain myself before the explosion in digital technology? How the hell did I entertain myself in the days before the online home computer? Could I live without it now? Well at a pinch yes but it would be a bloody boring and narrow existence. I can use my PC to watch films and TV shows, listen to the radio, listen to music, record music, capture and edit video, edit and print still photographs, write, keep in touch with people all over the globe.....the list goes on.

It really does beggar belief just how quickly the advances in technology have been dropping into the inbox since the heady days of the Sinclair ZX81, Sinclair Spectrum, Commodore 64 and the Atari ST. But even then, looking back at the leap from the rubber key-padded ZX to the 128Mb of RAM and built in midi ports of the ST, the advances were just as phenomenal. As the hardware improved so did the software. The games got better and especially in the music world, the Atari ST took off with many musicians using this machine and software such as Notator and Creator to create with. It became a familiar fixture in the studio and helped produce albums from the likes of Fatboy Slim, Mike Oldfield and Jean Michel Jarre.

In the 1940s the president of IBM was of the opinion that there was a world market for five computers. At this moment in time I have a PC, and netbook, an old laptop and a mobile phone running Windows mobile with access to the Web. I'm not alone either. The Western world is awash with the things and Western culture is being shaped by them.

I wonder where we'll be in the next ten years?

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We're off to see a band tonight – The Ukranians at a local Ukrainian club with an Ukrainian friend of ours. Should make a pleasant change and it should be pretty much analogue all the way I guess. Unless they have a drum machine or something, but I can't see that going down well with the audience. They're fierce about their traditions and don't take kindly to anyone taking liberties with them.

Mind you, I will be taking liberties with the Ukranian beer. Obolon is a great drink and, at 5.2% you don't need that much of it to feel in the party mood. So, should be a good night and tomorrow, well I just might have a thick head. It's a hard life but someone's got to do it.

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This post was brought to you by Spotify which played the following tracks as a wrote it:-

The Flaming Lips – Do You Realize??
The Beta Band – Dry the Rain
Stephen Stills – Colorado
Racing Cars – They Shoot Horses Don't They
Kings of Convenience – Know-How (feat. Feist)
Jesse Malin – Broken Radio
Groundhogs – Mistreated
Prefab Sprout – Electric Guitars
Steely Dan – Bodhisattva
Skin – Simmer Down
Coldplay – Viva la Vida
Super Furry Animals – (Drawing) Rings Around the World
Johny Borrell – Carrickfergus
Steely Dan – Any Major Dude Will Tell You
Jake Thackray – On Again! On Again!
Rancid – Fall Back Down
Ryuchi Sakamoto – Etude
Okkervil River – For Real
Stevie Wonder – For Once in My Life
Grace Jones – Bullshit
Weather Report – Birdland
Joni Mitchell – God Must Be A Boogie Man
Creedence Clearwater Revival – Bootleg
Sly & The Family Stone – Dance to the Music
The Human League – Seconds
Crosby, Stills & Nash – Marrakesh Express
Jethro Tull – Mother Goose
Blur – Tender
Nirvana – Come as You Are
Half Man Half Biscuit – David Wainwright's Feet
Radiohead – High and Dry
Coldplay – Viva la Vida
The Killers – Human
Robbie Robertson – Somewhere Down the Crazy River
Tom Waits – Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis
U2 – Bullet the Blue Sky
Hugh Masekela – Polician
Thomas Dolby – Dissidents
Groove Armada – At The River
Alice Cooper – Elected
Scritti Politti – Wood Beez
The Orb – Little Fluffy Clouds
The Decemberists – Eli, the Barrow Boy
Seth Lakeman – Solomon Browne
Leonard Cohen – Dance Me to the End of Love (Live)
Free – Oh I Wept
Lloyd Cole and the Commotions – Forest Fire
Leonard Cohen – Democracy
Kate Bush – Them Heavy People

Places in my Past

Somewhere on the internet I came across some photographs of the seige of Stalingrad with 'windows' that allowed you to peek through from today to the past. Hard to explain really and I've been unable to find the link since but I thought I'd try it with some pics from my local area.


The Crown and Cushion in 2007 and late 19th century.


The Co-operative Industrial Society Grocery store and opticians. Now a carpet shop.

Into The Mystic.....

Have I just experienced the next great leap forwards in the way we access and listen to music? Whilst thumbing through the latest edition of The Word skimming the eulogies to John Martyn I came across a reference to Spotify. My interest piqued I signed up and sixty seconds later I am listening to whatever I can find that I fancy listening to. I can make up playlists for myself and even share them with like-minded acquaintances who can add their own suggestions. The free service is great with small adverts rearing their ugly heads every fifteen minutes to half an hour or so. Even then it appears that most of them are public service announcements. At the moment I'm listening to Springsteen's Seeger Sessions album (and a fine thing it is too) for free. Furthermore I can listen to it again and again – for free. Now apart from the fact that I haven't got any 'product' in my hands, no CD or LP cover, no CD, LP, cassette, mini disc or whatever, essentially I 'own' the music. The only thing I can't do with it is download it to play in the car or whatever. Mind you I could feed the output into my mini disc recorder and grab it in real time but that would smack too much of taping the Top Twenty when I was a kid.

I guess I could set up my mobile to use it as I get free unlimited Internet access on it, but I've never really adapted to listening to music through headphones whilst working and I probably won't be in the near future. It does make we wonder what the future holds for HMV on the high street though never mind the independents – if there are any left.

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It's amazing what a good PR person can do for a reputation in steep decline and no one can deny that Jade Goody's was in a steeper decline than most in the immediate aftermath of the Shilpa Shetty Celebrity Big Brother controversy. We saw the reality of shallow, ill-educated, sleb-obsessed wannabes resorting to type and the nation didn't like it. We even had questions in the House and the show's sponsors pulled the plug.

Goody knew she had killed the Golden Goose and a frantic rearguard action consisting of tearful, snotty interviews in which she apologised again and again and insisted she wasn't a 'racialist' time and time again was soon being broadcast every time you turned the TV or radio on. At the time it didn't seem to be doing the trick until Max Clifford stepped up to the plate. From then on the remorseless return of Jade Goody was on track. Would it be nasty to suggest that the cancer was turned into an opportunity to re-entrench the Goody brand even more and, who knows maybe attract new, pitying supporters? Would it? It's not much of an opportunity now though is it? Not now it's terminal. Still, at least Ms Goody has the nation on her side again.

Unhappily though that is not the end of the Goody media frenzy. We are now to be spectators at her very public death. Not only that, the tabloids are full of photographs of 'brave' Jade, her vacuous boyfriend and her horrific mother. The fact that she only has months to live was headline news on BBC Radio Five on Saturday morning. God knows what Lord Reith's doing in his grave but I'll wager he won't be giving the thumbs up.

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I was directed to a blog written by Boo Hewerdine in which he talks about a game he likes to play when he's on the road. You take a group's name (or an artist I suppose) and you drop one vowel from the name to make a new – better and funnier – name. The examples he comes up with are Chin Crisis, White Tripes, Tin Turner, Codplay, Airport Convention, Little Fat, The Lying Burrito Brothers, Take Hat and the truly exquisite Grateful Dad!

C'mon, can you improve on that?


Towards Manchester


Scout Moor


Trees and snow


Scout Moor triple exposure.

That's all folks!