OCCUPIED COUNTRY

Dear Diary

Holiday Blog

All this was ‘Graffitied’ into a Palm Pilot whilst on holiday – so I’ll stick it here for future reference.

Wed 21st May

Naples, Jesus what a place. The traffic beggar's belief. Constant barrage of noise. Constant inability to cross the road. Ronald. - the head waiter - had warned us all that Naples was a city of crime and sin. As a Result everybody was frightened to death of going to the place. Many of the oder ones simply stayed on board the ship. The rest of us took our chances.

We all stripped ourselves of anything remotely re-sellable, and ventured into the heart of darkness. Down typical Neapolitan alleys we went. Scooters and cars flying by with no apparent regard for life or limb. Gorgeously photogenic – ochres and burnt siennas, faded peaches and oranges. Laundry hanging from balconies. Aahh the backstreets of Naples. (Cue that song by Peter Sartstedt)

Sunday 25th May.

Today it pissed down. The heavens opened and the wind blew and blew and blew. We are now in Porta Colom, Majorca for a week.

The hotel is excellent; the view is out of this world and it has to go and piss down.

I missed breakfast this morning (woke up at about 10am) and then had to wait until 3pm before the Rain stopped. Went to a local English bar (imaginatively called Bob’s Bar !) and had a crap roast beef dinner (microwaved bollocks) and then watched the play off final in another English Bar (Ollie’s Bar), Cardiff v OPR -. 1-0 to the Welshmen !

These English bars would appear to be locked in a battle for custom. Times are apparently hard at the moment in the resort. I wonder if that’s down to the terrorist threat, a lackluster economy in the homeland or just the fact that everybody appeared to go to the Tapas bars that we later discovered at the other end of the town ?

Coincidently there was a Welsh couple in the English roast beef pub, bloody massive the pair of 'em, she announced that "it must've been a very good lunch because her hubby said the roast spuds had been as good as hers. They were awful. Hard as diamonds and as tasty. He was, we were informed, a fussy bugger. Well - not about his food or his women he isn't - that's for certain!

Tuesday 27th May 2003

It's pissing down again. Apparently something to do with the Algerian earthquake.

3:10pm It’s brightened so we're off for some grub. All I've had for breakfast is some peanuts, a Twix and a litre of San Miguel.

Just finished "The Road to McCarthy". www.petemccarthy.co.uk. A brilliant read!

Weather's cleared up now. I am looking through the patio doors of our 6th floor apartment at a view you would kill for !

Wed 28th May

Last night we drank .a of a bottle of crap Rioja. After dinner we walked to the old town - dead! Beautiful, but devoid of life!

Today we went Cala D'Or - Had a fabulous tuna salad for 4.50 euros. Proper tuna with lettuce, sweetcorn, cabbage, green and red peppers and onions.

We're off now (6:20) to the restaurant attached to the hotel for an early dinner. then off to watch A C Milan v Juve in the Champion's League Final at Old Trafford.

We never made it to the bar. Dearest was a teensy bit drunk. So much so that she got a spoon out of the dirty section - not realising - and then ended up complaining it was dirty. So we're now back in our room and I've found the final on some Spanish channel.

One crap game! It's just gone to penalties. And Shevkenko's just clinched it for Milan. The real final was in April when Utd played Real Madrid.

I wonder if Ward and Emma (Brother-in-law and niece: United fanatics) worked for the pittance Utd were paying ? It was actually below the minimum wage - but they've frigged the way they pay it out to get round the law. Utilising ingenious ‘bonus’ systems that make it look like its higher.

Watching BBC World – what a waste of money !. Christ I don't believe it! I find myself agreeing with Kenneth Clarke regarding the "false pretences" argument re: Blair and the WMDs. And now we have Rumsfeld saying 'we may never find any'.

On top of that the USA is starting to warn Iran!

May 29th 2003

Newspapers this morning are hailing last night’s game as a 'master class' in Italian defending ? Looked more like a long ball game to me.

First really sunny day today, consequently dearest is horizontal by the pool. We’ve just had Spanish omelette with chips (me) and a cheese and tuna baguette (dearest), a Bud and a pint of lager for 14.30 euros.

I'm off to take some photographs in a minute. So far this holiday I have taken nearly 300 digitals and about 10 conventional.

May 30th 2003

After the photography we adjourned to the outdoor bar for a few beers. (There’s a pattern emerging here isn’t there ?) Had to sit near an odious 50something 'expert on everything'. God what a pain. He is also blessed with one of those voices that can elicit uncontrollable rage from anyone within earshot.

Today's papers are reporting that Ronaldo agrees with me the game the other night was a bore !

Last day today - I'm ready for home.

So that was the holiday over and I must admit I enjoyed that cruise like no holiday before. The clincher is the waking up in a different place everyday. Its like being in a huge ocean-going caravan ! Not that I'm into caravanning mind !

Here's a little something you've probably seen, but a wry smile did play about my lips as I read it. It does conveniently forget about the very real dangers that did exist back then (Moors Murders, drunk-driving was de rigeour, polio etc), but good for a laugh anyway for us baby boomers.

According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 50's, 60's, and 70's probably shouldn't have survived.

Our baby cots were covered with brightly coloured lead-based paint which was promptly chewed and licked.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, or latches on doors or cabinets and it was fine to play with pans.

When we rode our bikes, we wore no helmets, just flip flops and fluorescent 'clackers' on our wheels.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the passenger seat was a treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle - tasted the same. We ate dripping sandwiches, bread and butter pudding and drank fizzy pop with sugar in it, but we were never overweight because we were always outside playing and not sitting in front of a computer or Playstation.

We shared one drink with four friends, from one bottle or can and no one actually died from this.

We would spend hours building go-carts out of scraps and then went top speed down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes.

After running into stinging nettles a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back before it got dark.

No one was able to reach us all day and no one minded.

We did not have Playstations or X-Boxes, no video games at all. no 99 channels on TV, no videotape movies, no surround sound, no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet chat rooms: we had friends - we went outside and found them.

We played elastics and street rounders, and sometimes that ball really hurt.

We fell out of trees, got cut and broke bones and teeth, and there were no lawsuits. They were accidents. We learnt not to do the same thing again.

We had fights, punched each other hard and got black and blue - we learned to get over it.

We walked to friend's homes.

We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate live stuff, and although we were told it would happen, we did not have very many eyes out, nor did the live stuff live inside us forever.

We rode bikes in packs of 7 and wore our coats by only the hood.

Our actions were our own. Consequences were expected.

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law. Imagine that!

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem solvers and inventors, ever.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all. How the hell did we survive it all ???