In France They Kiss on Main Street - L'Amour Mama, Not Cheap Display
Before we go any further I must direct you to this. Be patient, it does take some time to load, but IMHO this is one of the things the Internet does best. Pure and simple, pointless yet brilliant, bad but good and somehow - without being able to pinpoint exactly why - subversive.In the same vein, have a look at the badgers.
I've had a bout of can't-be-arsedness today. The Aerospace industry's slowest intellects have bored me rigid. I needed mental flights of fancy, someone on the same wavelength to spark off. But all I got was the pure logic of the literal mind.This lethargic disappointment was carried home and, after a rather nice chili, (the first that Dearest has concocted since her mutilation) I sat, transfixed, like a rabbit in a spotlight, staring at the TV in the corner.
There was a "documentary" on C4 about a couple from Blackburn who sold up and shipped out to the Dordogne, where they had acquired a 64 acre hazel nut farm; part of which they were going to develop into a camp site to supplement the £15,000 pa they hoped to earn from selling their nuts to the local nut co-operative.
Nowt wrong wi' that I can hear you cry (albeit in slightly different accents). Yes I agree. These two were professionals who had made the decision to "downsize" in order to give their kids and themselves a happier lifestyle. Paul was an IT consultant, who, more or less, lived most of his life in motels as he traveled round the country, talking techno-bollox-speak to gullible corporations with too much IT budget. Angela was a full time college lecturer. There was going to be a major upheaval in all their lives. I mean, hazel nut farming ? How many hazel nut farmers do you know ? They weren't going to get much advice on hazel nut husbandry round here were they ? (Cue comments from 1,000s of hazel nut farmers.)
So you would think that they would prepare themselves for every eventuality. Get themselves ready for anything that Gaul could throw at them ? Well, so did I.
Unfortunately, the high-flying IT consultant who spent his evenings bored out of his skull in hotel bedrooms all over the UK, hadn't bothered to attempt to acquire even the most basic understanding of the French language. Fortunately his wife - although arriving with the same 'O' level French as I - threw herself into mastering the local patois.
Verbal communication has never, in my opinion, been a pre-requisite of the IT consultant. Even in its written form it often makes as much sense as he hieroglyphics of ancient Egypt. Sadly most of us do not possess a Rosetta Stone to decipher the mass of TLAs (Three Letter Acronyms) that litter the convoluted text of these throwbacks to an earlier age. An age of "power dressing", "working breakfasts", "voting for Maggie ? of course I am" and "Up Yours Delors".
But, FFS, come on Paul. When in Rome and all that !
Merde !
We're having a local by-election in the ward I live in. Next Thursday it is. We have the usual *Big Three* but, strangely - for a by-election - no independents. What we do have however, is a BNP candidate. A "man of the people". Who - according to his campaign literature was "born and bread" in the area. His leaflets rage about Muslim this and Islam that; Asians here and Asians there. After you've read one you would think that every street corner had a Mosque, Asylum-Seekers "pay-out" centre where they collect their BMWs and the keys to their opulent housing and the obligatry "East-European" Mafia member.
Now I've seen all this before. At one time, as an active member of the Labour Party I've confronted it face-to-face. But I'll tell you this:-
I've NEVER come across an active BNP, NF or any other Far-Right party member who was a verger at a local Church ! Who constantly harps on about his "Christian-ness".
Now - as regular readers are aware - I can't take anyone who has a "friend who live in the sky" seriously; be they Christian, Muslim, Jedi or any other. But I have to say that this sounds like a "Crusade".
Unless, of course, whichever "Church" he claims to be a verger of, disowns, de-frocks (oooh eeerrrr missus) and distances itself from the ill-educated tosser.
Hopefully, before next week's election, we will find out . Watch this space !
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