I Got Those SW19 Blues Again....
Can I just reiterate - here and now - just how much I hate tennis in general and Wimbledon in particular. A cornucopia of "Queen's English". Smug, self-satisfied plummy voices waffling on about Tim. Strawberries and cream. Virginia "Ginny" Wade and the rest of the "oh I say" over-privileged wankers.And now they've taken over my radio station of choice so I'll either have to retune to another or reacquaint myself with the more obscure parts of my music collection
I've said it before and I'll say it again, Tennis, as a competetive sport in this country will never thrive because it is almost the sole reserve of the "holiday home in the country" type. A talented kid from a sink estate has as much chance of landing on the moon as appearing at Wimbledon. Just like show-jumping.
Blazered and buffed-up old duffers rule and losing gallantly with dignity is revered over winning a bloody trophy.
My word.
Poor old David's one-trick-ponyism has been discovered for the lacklustre affair it really is. For a long time I have said that he is essentially a dead ball specialist and superb crosser (as in "of the ball" not "dressing").
He's not a winger - he has no pace and he can't pass a man unless he indulges in a one-two. His left foot is non-existant and he lacks the vision to be a truly creative midfielder.
On top of all that he's finding life in Spain difficult because he can't go out of his front door. Back in Manchester he was happy because the Beckhams could stroll round the Trafford Centre unmolested.
Well, that's great Dave it really is. I have one question though: why the fuck would you want to? The Trafford Centre? It's a man's worst nightmare. Mile after mile of the same shops you get on every city centre high street. Mile after mile of ubiquitous fast "food" emporia. Bars you can't have a drink in because - well - because you had to drive fuckin' miles just to get to the sprawling nightmare of Prince Charles-friendly architectural bollox. Woeful cinemas showing the same dumbed down American blockbuster every other cinema in the country is showing. In short: I think I'd rather stay in and maybe read a book. Paint a picture. Watch a decent film (on Film Four perhaps). Anything but find myself in that 21st century nightmare.
Mind you I have to keep reminding myself you're only a Chav with plenty of money.
"For the first time, an American president comes to Ireland greeted by silence and an almost complete absence of cheering crowds"
Good. Perhaps his "this'll play good back home" photo opportunties will suffer as a result. The man's a buffoon of the highest order. Via Christine, I watched the most powerful man on the planet stumble through an 11 minute interview with RTE's Carole Coleman. It was painful to listen to him thrutching with all the aplomb of a two year old. After the interview he complained about being interrupted.
George, you should've been grateful. Anything to eat up the time and stop you being exposed as the intellectual lightweight you most definately are.
Twat. Simple as.
I've been trying to acquire a reasonably priced ukelele on ebay now for about 3 months. Everytime I think I've got one of the buggers someone - a bastard - beats me to it. I've just had my bid for a nice vintage Harmony model beat by some wastrel who'll probably never pluck a string in anger. So, now what? Up my bid to £40? Or admit defeat again?
£40? For a ukelele? Where's me white flag.
I've just watched Jamie Cullum at Glastonbury. Absolutely brilliant. He got the audience singing 3 part harmony while he extemporised on top for God's sake. 3 part fuckin' harmony! While the rain pissed down from a great height and 9 out of 10 of the poor over-charged bastards must have felt like shit. "Singin' in the Rain" he sang. Nice one James - you have impressed a very hard to impress person tonight. I'll probably download your album without paying for it as a result.
More to the point though, next time you visit Manchester, I'll be sat near the front and I might hand over proper greenbacks for your second platter.
That's as good as it gets these days at occupied towers so just rejoice at that news.
No comments:
Post a Comment