The Winner Takes It All
Yee Hah! I finally won an auction on ebay. £16 for a cheapo ukelele - a guitar-shaped, 4-stringed bundle of fun. My cheque's in the post. The seller's credentials are 100% so I'm expecting a speedy-ish delivery. All I need now is to win the bidding for a lampost at the corner of the street and a little stick of Blackpool rock and I'll be set for life. Only snag is it's red. Bah! Still I could always sand it back to the wood.I love acoustic instruments I do. Don't get me wrong I adore a screaming electric guitar solo as much as the next 49 year old white male, but deep inside it's wood, steel or nylon and fingers that resonates. Over the years I've acquired a few including a fiddle, dulcimer, mandolin, nylon-strung classical guitar and my favourite - a hand-made Fylde steel-strung acoustic that plays like an angel and sings like a bird.
Also scattered about are a Fender Strat, Yamaha bass, Aria Pro 335 and various keyboards, percussion items, tin whistles and harmonicas.
Of course what I really need is a shed to put them all in so I could sit there of an evening playing the blues, supping Brasso and howling at the moon.
I can't wait to shoot down to that there Londinium to gaze in awe at the Queen-Of-All-Our-Hearts'™ memorial fountain. £3.6 million well spent in my opinion. Anyone who disagrees is simply being churlish. Let's face it, if Weatherfield Council can find the wherewithal to build a similar magnificent erection in honour of the memory of Alf Roberts, then I think it's the least we could've done. I was filling up today when I heard it was finally ready after all these years - I really, really was.
Gawd bless yer Ma'am, you was one in a million you was. Us common folk just were'nt fit to kiss yer feet you was that grand an' all. Not like that bloody Camilla Horse-face. No you had the common touch you did and you was photogenic and an excellent media manipulator to boot.
£3.6 million. Just think, it could've built a hospital wing or helped bail out all them poor bastards whose pension funds have gone tits up. Maybe it could've purchased books for school libraries, bought back a few playing fields, built some Outward Bound centres, helped repair dilapadated school buildings.......well a thousand and one things really.
Still. A fountain. In London. That'll be nice.
Twats.
If anyone remembers the horrific images that were broadcast on terrestial TV at the time of the Bradford City fire of 1985 when 56 supporters were burnt alive, they, like me will wonder what the hell was going through the minds of the cretins who thought the same images were just thing to sell sportswear.
As a health and safety representative, I had to watch the full film of that day and I can tell you it's something that still gives me the horrors even now. Less than four minutes it took to envelop the entire stand. Four minutes and no warning. Padlocked gates and fire escapes. 56 dead and over 300 injured.
They had a whip round for the victims and their families. The Bradford Disaster Appeal Fund. It raised £3.5 million.
Just not quite enough for a fountain.
No comments:
Post a Comment