I Live In a Suitcase
Back again and a whole decade older but, apart from that seismic shift in my personal space/time continuum, the world carries on much as it always has done. Shit just happens.Pretty eventful week this last one. Four days in the most gorgeous city I've ever seen. Prague really is a feast for the eyes. Fabulous people as well (most of 'em anyway - a few were twats but wherever I may wander and wherever I may roam, I've come to expect my share of twats so I just adjust my sights slightly downwards and I am usually pleasantly surprised.
They were definitely twats who threw that grenade in a crowded street though. In fact not only twats but wankers and twats I should think.
I actually had my fair share of twats before we arrived in Prague. First off I was what can only be described as sexually assaulted by a security guard at Manchester Airport. I ask you: who the hell smuggles lethal weaponry in their testicles?
Next up we have a nervous flyer who leaves it till we are flying to tell us she can't stand up once the plane is moving. And where was the twat rooted? Aisle seat of course. She hadn't the wit to a) inform us of her affliction while we could all do something about it and b) inform the fucking check in staff so they could superglue her to a friggin' window seat for the benefit of all concerned.
On the return flight she was once again blocking vital exit routes with her fairly substantial frame and 'I'm more frightened than the rest of you' expression.
And so we returned to a muggy Manchester with my 50th party to enjoy.
I have to congratulate Dearest and Eldest's Darlin' for the amount of work they put into making it such a success. Gazebos were erected, food and drink on a scale not seen since Betty Windsor's last shindig and a generous supply of just making sure.........all made for a memorable evening.
Around fifty to sixty friends turned up and filled our little semi from top to bottom. Everyone from work colleagues to a dear mate who I first met aged five on my first day at infant school.
Half-past-eight the next morning I went to bed. Just after the last guests had left. Fifty being the new forty and everything I was able to last the course. Much meaty music was enjoyed by the hardcore who were able to stay awake long enough to say hi to the milkman.
I have acquired many fancy whiskies, impressive bottles of vin rouge, DVDs, a DVD player, a fabulous Italian meal at the Sul Lago, the aforementioned week in Prague and, an iPod off the offspring and their Darlin's.
Sometimes I just feel blessed.
But then my hard disk went tits up. An iPod without a PC is as much use as a libido enhancer for Sven.
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