OCCUPIED COUNTRY

Accordion Crimes

The other night - after the game - I bumped into Phil the Button-Accordianist.

A fabulous sobriquet that, I always thought. Bloody 'Button Accordianist'. Yes, it deserves capitalisation. He’s a BUTTON ACCORDIANIST ! for feck’s sake !

How many self-taught guitarists do you know ? keyboard players ?? vocalists ??? spoons-players ???? clarinet......trumpet, drums.......all fairly mainstream instruments even if you’re not in an orchestra.

Button Accordianism however, is leftfield. Button Accordianism is eccentric, Button Accordianism is pushing the envelope, Button Accordianism is the dog’s bollix !!

“What do you want to be when you grow up son ???” “A......a....a........a.....a... Button Accordianist Dad !!”

“What ???? A bloody button accordionist ?” (lowercase to reflect the general contempt of father figure re: button accordianism). “ A bloody button accordionist ?? Nay lad.......I’ll not ‘ave a bloody puffter in this ‘ouse playing a bollixed-up version ‘o Piano Accordion – Carols or no Carols. I’m sorry son but yer barred !!!”

Phil was tubbier (not seen him for about 2 years. He probably thought the same of me).

17 or 18 stone I reckon. Faded blue denim jacket ( Levi’s – probably (knowing Phil) about 30-odd year’s old). V-neck grey pullover ‘cos “tank-tops are ‘retro’”.

Can’t disagree Phil. However – Retro looks great on kids of 17-18-19-20 etc etc etc., but on people our age ??? Well frankly it just looks like we bought them about....oooooh.....erm...30-odd year’s ago. Mind you, in Phil's case, its probably true.

Yep ! I don’t know who it was who said it but.....Life’s a bitch. Looks like I'll have to clear out the wardrobe now.

Now I know how to do pictures, I'll stick one of Phil up - remind me tomorrow ! I've got more to tell re: Phil. So later...........