Down by the Sea
Blackpool. The lowest common denominator when it comes to family "entertainment". What a dump ! Unremitting tat from end to end. A huge money-sucking mechanism designed to extract every available coin from your pocket. The best example being the "Pleasure Beach". A more convoluted method of paying to go on the rides you are never likely to see. All designed to make you stump up - up front. I won't go into details here but, suffice to say, it's Joe Public who come off worse.
25p to walk down a pier !! £14 for 3 of us to stare at some of the most laughable wax dummies I've ever seen in my life. £3 each to sit in a boat and float through ages-old displays of dinosaurs and Aztecs (?). Everywhere you look there'ld be somebody attempting to sell you something worthless.
And the signs: "you can't *enjoy* these seats unless you have purchased something from the cafeteria", "Photographs not allowed when trying on wigs. You can take a smany as you like once you've bought them". "Thou Shalt Not" on everything.
The only thing that was free was the beach and, sincerely, you wouldn't want to spend a lot of time on it - or in the sea either.
As for the people it attracts, all I can say is you're welcome to yourselves and to Blackpool.
As we were heading back to the car at around 3:30pm, the first arrivals for the weekend trade were just arriving - many already drunk, hanging around in Burberry-capped gangs.
Blackpool you are a disgrace. There's nothing "jolly" and "all good clean fun" about you. You are like a loud, brash, arrogant, foul-mouthed, drunken yob who doesn't realise that his own behaviour is offending everyone else around.
With a bit of luck I'll never have to go there again.
Back to Life
Up at Boundary Park yesterday with Dearest, Eldest, Gill and Jess to see Oldham v City. This was a much needed boost to the coffers of Latics as they are struggling to survive at the moment. A bumper crowd of 11,000+ at a tenner a time (£5 for concessions), plus the numerous collection buckets going around should guarantee about £100,000 for them at least.
A very one-sided game that City eventually won 6-0.
Then, as the second half got underway, we had a streaker. Stark, bollock naked he pranced around the City penalty area before attempting to dive and slide on his front - like professionals do when they've just scored. Professionals normally do it on wet grass though. Yesterday the grass was drier than Thatcher's last cabinet. So he dives - arms out - down onto the grass whereupon he stops. Dead. The entire male-half of the crowd gives out a sort of "I've just been kicked in the balls" moan and the bloke gingerly gets to his feet. Seconds later he's got his jockies on and he's back in the stand, legging it to the rear pursued by stewards. We later heard he'd got away - out of the ground and off.
I bet his testicles are the size of melons for a good few days though. And - as for the grass burns !
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